I Root For The Bad Guy In the Movie

It's Tiny She Said

2007-11-20T17:09:00.000-08:00

Yeah well I didn't get my feelings hurt. I just went off telling her how I got the whole Lord Of The Rings Trilogy on a single 2gb SD card.

Trust me it takes a lot of nifty encoding but I won't get into that here. Plus the kicker it also has 256MB built in memory for my favorite mp3's. I would store it on my keychain but to afraid of it getting too scratched up. The screen is adequate enough to watch full length movies on and the sound of the MP3 is incredible. Over all the Digital Video Player is a very nice package for the small investment.

-Vadim K.

Hurry to Place Your Order! The First Shipment is Almost Here

2007-11-20T16:55:00.000-08:00

The Automotive Wireless Back-Up Camera and Object Sensor will be in Stock in around November 10th. Hurry and place your order soon the first shipment will only be 400 units and limited quantities for the Holidays. I can safely say that at least half of those are already spoken for. If you want to provide a little more safety in your daily driving or just have something for that troublesome blind spot. I wish I had this cool car gadget installed in my car earlier this week then maybe my fender bender may have been avoided. Now I have fun dealing with two insurance companies and an auto shop and an adjuster. The Automotive Wireless Back-Up Camera and Object Sensor would of allowed me to move out the way when I saw the guy approaching so fast and I would've been able to avoid the whole ordeal completely. Plus this is the only one that has back up sensor that will start beeping when are are too close to an object just like those $80k luxury cars. It is currently only $199.95 and can be pre-ordered on GadgetUniverse.com . Make sure you place your order quickly as stock is limited. I will guarantee this will be the hottest selling gadget for 2007 Holiday season.

-Vadim K.

Christmas Takes Flight This Holiday Season

2007-11-20T16:53:00.000-08:00

What would be better Christmas morning than multiple flying contraptions in your living room? Yes that might not sound very entertaining to most adults but imagine the smiles it would bring to your children this Christmas. If its the Super Mini Fly-in-House Helicopter or its bigger brother the Eagle-Eye Radio-Controlled Helicopter . Or both of them. For all the adults in house you can get the bigger Dual-Blade Navigating Helicopter . But if he/she is like me and thinks she/hes' James Bond on occasion he would love the R/C Car with 2.4 GHz Wireless Video Camera so he/she can spy on the neighbor's or just harass the mailman (mail person lol) on a daily basis. GadgetUniverse.com has Holiday gifts starting at $40 for the small helicopter all the way up to $150 for the R/C car camera system. I know but family is getting lots of flying contraptions this Holiday. I think it would be fun watching my mom fly one of these things around it took her about a month to learn the Tivo remote.

-Vadim K.

p.s. I love how I'm so politically correct in this post.

Hula Chair

2007-11-20T16:51:00.000-08:00

I'm glad someone else thinks these are good excises to do while you watch television. Unfortunately thats the only way I get exercise. The Hula Chair and the iPlatform are perfect examples of exercise machines for the fat and lazy. Yes I said fat and lazy. I can speak on that because I fit into both of those categories. Mr. Bicep is a huge fan of these unique exercise machines. I first meet Bruce Pechman (Mr.Bicep) in summer of 2006. He was doing a special on clocks and we had the perfect item our Giant Big Ben LED Clock. Since then we have built a close relationship with Mr. Bicep and he will be participating on our Gadget Panel. He also visited us at ces2007 and meet with our VP of marketing Jared Tracy (blog). We look forward to his insights and reviews of our products. I just sent him over a couple new gadgets to play with.

Vadim K.

No Need For Wires

2007-11-20T16:49:00.000-08:00

I just got a new TV for my bedroom. I decided to get it mounted on the wall since it is a thin plasma television. After I got the mount and got it all hooked up its looked so sexy. But I hated that the wires for the surround system ruined the cleanliness of the installation. But I was very skeptical about getting and all in one. I found a new product from my friends at Gadgetuniverse.com . They have a new product called the Horizon Home Theater system. So I decided to give it a run for my money anyways. It took all but three minutes to take out the box and hook up. I connected it directly to the plasma by a toslink optical audio cable. So I turned on Snatch one of my favorite movies and started to play around with the sounds modes. I kept it all pretty basic and default just added a little bass. Before I knew it I was actually thinking how good is the sound coming out of the back speakers and though to myself wait I don't have any surround speaker just this box below the TV. I do not know how they accomplished something so cool but it actually works. I heard of the Yamaha sound bar and the Bose system but both where way out of my price range. The Horizon Home Theater system only retail for $399.95 and worth every penny. Plus at first I was very skeptical about the quality of the system but It is very well made. I have expensive Polk Audio Speakers in the living room and the construction is on par with those which cost about the same per speaker as the Horizon Home Theate r system. Plus I did not really care if it had it or not but it comes with a built in DVD player which made me happy because I did not need to run any more wires to the TV. I'm very happy with this system and think anyone in my position would be. So clean up those wires will ya.

-Vadim K.

Antwone Fisher Likes Steinhausen?

2007-08-29T17:33:00.001-07:00

He actually does. I met him at the Scriptwriter's Showcase in Universal City Earlier this year and he fell in love with our products. He loves the way the Steinhausen Classic Automatic Watch looked for himself and though his daughter would love the Home Theater Watch . He also loved the MP3 Voice Recorder and he though it would be very useful to record ideas on. I had a very nice time talking to him . He actually spent about an hour of his time talking to us and was really a down to earth nice guy. We talked a lot about his movie and I had to express how much I liked it. It was one of the few Drama's I actually enjoyed over the past couple of years. I hope to run into him again at another event GadgetUniverse.com will be attending.

- Vadim K.

Eddy George Loves AIW's Gadgets

2007-08-29T17:31:00.000-07:00

Eddy George was so excited about AIW 's gadgets. He was checking everything out and got on the iPlatform and had the Head Spa on. The first thing he said that he and his boys are gadget fanatics. I went right away and got him the MP4 Home Theater Watch and the MP3 Voice Recorder . He loved that the voice recorder had a remote voice activated microphone that you could leave in an another room and when someone starts talking it will start recording. Plus it has an adapter for you regular land line to do the same. He loved the watch also he said I'll put all the latest sport's highlights on it and watch it on the plane. He was a very energetic and happy person to met. He brought a wonderful energy with him that seemed to cheer the whole gift suite up. I'm not a sports fan except for Ninja Warrior so cannot tell you about his professional career I had to a chance to met the man behind the fame and it was a pleasure.

-Vadim K.

Me and Robert ( Bobby) Moresco Just Chillin

2007-08-29T17:29:00.000-07:00

This is another one from the Scriptwriter's Showcase in Universal City earlier this year. That handsome fat Ukrainian is me and the other fine gentleman is Robert Moresco. You may heard of him? He produced Crash and co-produced Million Dollar Baby and countless other movies and television shows. One of my new favorites is new TV series The Black Donnelly's. You see him holding up the MP3 Voice Recorder and the MP4 Home Theater Watch which he was excited to receive. He loved the watch because he can travel and have something to watch and not have to lug around a laptop. The voice recorder he said can come useful when for meetings instead of taking notes. It was a pleasure meeting him and I love his work. His work is really true life stories and not fantasy based like most blockbuster movies.

-Vadim K.

Tenacious D In The House

2007-08-29T17:28:00.000-07:00

Kyle Gass was very excited to receive his MP3 Voice Recorder with voice activated remote microphone . He straight loved the little gadget and don't worry it wasn't vodka in his glass. He just finished a celebrity poker event for charity and decided to check out the AIW 's gift suite at the Sofitel Hotel. He actually said he would love to leave the remote microphone in the room and come back to see what his friends say when he is gone. He is a very funny guy and I was pleased to meet him.

-Vadim K.

Meeting Jorge Garcia (Lost)

2007-08-29T17:27:00.000-07:00

WOW!!! I was so happy to meet one the main characters on LOST. My favorite TV series ever. I think he was just as excited to receive the MP3 Voice Recorder and the MP4 Home Theater Watch from AIW . He loved both those items and couldn't wait to get to his Hotel room and play with them. When I mentioned that the Voice Recorder comes with a voice activated remote microphone he got so excited. I wish I could of spend hours talking to him about the show and what really goes on behind the scenes. But i understood that first off he couln't and it would be inappropriate. Meeting him made my week and I also meet Michael and Walt later on which was very exciting.

-Vadim K.

You Mean I Can Take My Porn With Me?

2007-08-29T17:21:00.000-07:00

Rex Lee from Entourage was very excited to receive his MP4 Home Theater watch and he liked the MP3 Voice recorder too but not as much. Rex Lee is also a big fan of AIW's other products like the Steinhausen Beethoven Watch . He wasn't wearing one that day but he mentioned to me how many compliments that watch receives. Rex Lee is a talented and hilarious actor and I love his work. It was a pleasure meeting him.

-Vadim K.

Paris Got Fucked and I don't Mean on Video

2007-06-08T15:43:00.000-07:00

Paris Hilton got dragged out of her house today and taken into custody and returned to jail. WTF did she break out of prison or something. I think the stupid judge is just making a mockery of this problem and making a name for himself. My friend has gotten multiple DUI's and only did time for his third one. This girl did not even get a second one and they are throwing the book at her. I know she is not perfect but who is. She likes to party and what not but who really cares is she hurting people selling drugs or worse. I think this is just a media frenzy and the judge wants his name all over the media and has the power to do so. I feel bad for her and hopefully she could come out this with her head up high and put this all behind her.

-Vadim

The Cast Of LOST

2007-06-06T15:52:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I spent a whole lot of time in the presidential suite at the The Sofitel Hotel. It was sponsored by Alexander Innovation Wizard (scroll down for some history). The event was hosted by GBK productions and was for the 2007 MTV Movie Awards. We worked long hours and did not get many breaks but it was all worth it. The highlight of this gift suite was when I meet some of the cast of lost. I meet Jorge Garcia (my fav), Malcolm David Kelley, and Harold Perrineau Jr. (was also on OZ). I got so excited when Jorge came into the suite and started looking and the G-Force MP4 Home Theater Watch and the Spion MP3 Voice recorder. I could barely tell him what the product do i just had random scenes from the show on my mind. the coolest part is that they all loved the products especially the watch. Everyone was like I don't have drag my laptop around to catch a movie and I was like nope you can have it on your wrist. That was so cool me schooling celebrities image that. I'm still pretty excited about meeting then and looking forward to the new season of Lost in February.

Here are some picks from there:

Background on Alexander Innovation Wizard:

Alexander Innovation Wizard has been inventing the world’s greatest innovations for nearly 20 years. His products can be found in retail stores like Sharper Image, Costco and mail-order catalogs like Heartland America, Gadget Universe, Sportsman’s Guide, and SkyMall. Alex is also rolling out dozens of funny and entertaining online videos featuring the incredible innovations he is discovering and inventing several months before these gadgets are available to consumers.

-Vadim

Damn Better Then Hot Cakes, Like Gravity Defeyer Hotcakes

2007-05-22T11:26:00.000-07:00

It's funny how much press these Gravity Defyer Shoes get. Everywhere I look there are more and more blogs, reviews, etc. I just searched Google for the shoes (results) and the information is overwhelming. Like Show-n-Tell, The Gadget Panel, TurboGadgets, and countless others have written reviews and given there opinions. Places like Gadget Universe, Skymall are spending lots of dough just to advertise these. So far they don't have a celebrity endorsements or any large retail chains supporting the shoes. In my opinion thats just around the corner.

-Vadim

WOW!!! Gotta Get Me Some of These

2007-04-17T15:45:00.000-07:00

Boobies: The Executive Desk Toy

Remember the pendulum executive desk toys that were so popular in the '80s? Then you'll be familiar with Mrs. Newton's Knockers. A few questions though.

Does Mrs. Newton herself have five breasts? More than five breasts? Are these someone else's breasts? Did she take one each from five women, or are there two women walking around breastless and one with just half a breast? All pertinent questions. – Jason Chen

Twenty Responses To Use With Telemarketers

2007-04-10T22:41:00.000-07:00

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . . "

3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

4. This works great if you are male. Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company." You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"

5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.

6. Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends, would you be my friend?"

8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"

9. After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask him or her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you can't just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

10. Tell the Telemarketer that you work for the same company, and they can't sell to employees.

11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, "Oh my God!" and then hang up.

12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" Hang up.

13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

14. Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.

15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer.

16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.

17. Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I'll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."

18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"

19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up . . . louder . . . louder . . .

20. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down.

Got Tiddy's ?

2007-03-27T11:06:00.000-07:00

Hahaha!!!!

This thing is hilarious. I truly hope this is a real product. I can see many women take advantage of this simple product.

-Vadim

We Got Gravity Defyer Style

2007-03-22T17:13:00.000-07:00

Finally some other styles of the Gravity Defyer shoes have come in. You now have versions with laces and two other colors mocha and saddle. I'll still stick with the triple black. But I do like the look of the Allessandro. These shoes are just on fire. I had mine on the other day because I knew I was going to do some walking. After walking the farmers market for a while I was really impressed that my calves did not hurt which they usually did. I don't know about anyone else I'm sold on these and will recommend that everyone get a pair or two. Use code : SHOEPROMO to get 10% off and free shipping on the order from catalog page. But keep this between us no one knows I leaked that code. The offer is not even published anywhere yet. :-)

-Vadim

9/11 Facts Everyone Should Know

2007-03-21T09:16:00.000-07:00

1) New York City has 11 letters

2) Afghanistan has 11 letters.

3) Ramsin Yuseb (The terrorist who threatened to destroy the Twin Towers in 1993) has 11 letters.

4) bill clinton has 11 letters.

This could be a mere coincidence, but this gets more interesting:

1) New York is the 11th state.

2) The first plane crashing against the Twin Towers was flight number 11.

3) Flight 11 was carrying 92 passengers. 9+ 2 =11

4) Flight 77 which also hit Twin Towers, was carrying 65 passengers. 6+5 = 11

5) The tragedy was on September 11, or 9/11 as it is now known. 9 + 1+ 1 = 11

6) The date is equal to the US emergency services telephone number 911. 9 + 1 + 1 = 11.

Sheer coincidence..?! Read on and make up your own mind:

1) The total number of victims inside all the hi-jacked planes was 254. 2 + 5 + 4 = 11.

2) September 11 is day number 254 of the calendar year. Again 2 + 5 + 4 = 11.

3) The Madrid bombing took place on 3/11/2004. 3+1 + 1 + 2 + 4 = 11.

4) The tragedy of Madrid happened 911 days after the Twin Towers incident.

Sheer coincidence..?! Read on and make up your own mind:

Now this is where things get totally eerie:

The most recognised symbol for the US, after the Stars & Stripes, is the Eagle. The following verse is taken from the Quran, the Islamic holy book:

"For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle. The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah and lo, while some of the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced: for the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah and there was peace."

That verse is number 9.11 of the Quran.

Still uncovinced about all of this..?! Try this and see how you feel afterwards, it made my hair stand on end

Open Microsoft Word (or notepad) and do the following:

1. Type in capitals Q33 NY. This is the flight number of the first
plane to hit one of the Twin Towers.

2. Highlight the Q33 NY.

3. Change the font size to 48.

4. Change the actual font to the
WINGDINGS 1

-Vadim

See Exactly What I Just Said

2007-03-19T17:53:00.000-07:00

The 22mph Russian boots that could, but never did

Posted Mar 17th 2007 10:39PM by Ryan Block on Enagadget
Filed under: Transportation, Wearables

The Gray Lady's got a rather interesting piece on the peculiar (and telling) tale of a Russian inventor and his declassified gas-powered engine-boots that get 70mpg and can swiftly take a runner upwards of 20 miles per hour without the regular strain, stress, or tiredness that comes with long-distance running. Unfortunately for Viktor Gordeyev, the boots' creator, instead of being allowed to sell his boots on the open market, the Russian government classified them for military use until 1994. When they were declassified in 1994, Gordeyev tried his damnedest to get them into consumers' hands (or rather, on their feet), but despite his better efforts he just couldn't find buy-in and his business -- like so many other Russian technology companies -- went under. Yes, it's truly apparent that in Russia, boots run you. What a country, eh?

I don't know if this product would be a huge success but judging what people sell these days. He could of at least go into retail. I hope this would change soon. their is a lot of potential from there. Just all the people are repressed and are shut in by the government.
-Vadim

Kazakhstan Rules With A Iron Fist

2007-03-19T13:52:00.000-07:00

My friend's uncle introduced him to a young lady that resides Kazakhstan. His uncle also lives there near Borat somewhere lol. So for months now they have been exchanging email and phones calls (thank god for voice over ip). They like each other and decided to meet. She went to the consulate and asked for a travel visa so she could come out here to visit him. They advised her that she can't do that. Here are her options she could come out here on a student visa, work visa, or a personal long lost friend program for lack of better words. She asked why she just could see a person she likes and wants to meet. They advised her that their number one priority is make sure she comes back to Kazakhstan. So my mom learned of this and decided to help. She got the paper work and filled everything out like she is her friend and blah blah blah. So this lady goes back there with all the paper work and they have an interview (interrogation). Everything goes well until he asks her if my mom has ever been to Kazakhstan and she replies no. Then after like three hours of being interviewed right after that question he dined her entry to the United States. Communist has long left that part of the world but everything is still done in the old ways. It will take at least 100 years for things to be more open and freer. For know she is stuck there and their is really no way she could come over now. But the kicker is that she has a young boy and her family there so she would obviously come back. For know it just sucks.

-Vadim

Lazy Man's Exercise

2007-02-27T14:41:00.000-08:00

I love the iPlatform. If you are a fat bastard like me and refuse to exercise against doctors orders. We had one in the studio for a couple of months. I used to sneak off and use the machine on a daily basis for that time period. I noticed that I did not get sleepy after lunch like I always did before and had more energy for the evening activities. I wish we would still have it set up because I miss my energy. This exercise machine is so simple to use and a ton of fun. I think of it like a roller coaster get on and just hold on and let the machine do all the work. I also love all the attention this machine gets from the opposite sex. Every time we take it to a show it catches the women’s attention right away. I think women are just more health oriented than men are. I love how it’s just something fun to do like go on a swing or seesaw. I don' really care I'm working out I care more that I'm having fun with the gadget. I think this is the key to sticking with any exercise routine. If you are not having fun and it’s a chore to do your not likely going to do that for a long time.

A reply to: Kevin Sorbo Loves the iPlatform, What did Paris Hilton get for her birthday?

-Vadim

I Can Smell BS From A Mile Away

2007-02-19T14:11:00.000-08:00

Universal B.S. Detector Watch: Full of Crap

The Universal Bullshit Detector Watch does not actually detect falsehoods. We didn't want to inconvenience the small percentage of readership that sometimes takes these trifles a tad too seriously. As a general rule, any electronic depicting a cow's arse is not worth one's emotional investment. But to each his own.

The $39.95 Universal Bullshit Detector Watch can tell time, but it can also make "moo" and "poo" noises at the touch of a button. According to the manufacturer, your friend will question from whence came the sound (and this is when you come in):

"Oh, my deepest apologies Philip. I seem to have left my bull...pfff...haha...one second...hahaha...I'm ok...I seem to have left...ooh, spit my milk a bit...I...I seem to have left my bullshit detector on!"

And then Philip will feel most foolish. – Mark Wilson

I hope someone can invent something this cool. Just image your sitting there and you girlfriend tells you yeah she is going out with the girls on Friday. But you super duper B's watch instructs you she actually set something up with that new guy in accounting at her work. So you catch her on the lie. You proceed to yelling and screaming then you lash out and scream I hope he is gay. Followed by lots or crying and weeping hopefully in a private place like you mom basement which you vacated just months prior lol. Well now you have all that time to get reacquainted with that trusty XBOX and don't need to spent any time with miss office hoe.

Ok I'm done with the rant now. But anyways I would to know anytime people are just B's you like art the dealers or when you buying a tv. I'm just looking for a tuned down version from my rant I would just like a beep so I can smack the person B's you.

-v

Vista Breaking Heads !

2007-02-12T10:40:00.000-08:00

Check this out freshly borrowed from the 800lbs. Gorilla guys. This is funny so I decided to put it on my blog.

I'm Actually A Part Of Something

2007-02-08T16:16:00.000-08:00

At work we are setting up a Gadget Panel. It's basically going to be a review site for new products. But the twist is that we don't really want them to tell us what the product does just what is there opinion of it and maybe what they could accomplish with it. We already have some cool people as our panelist. Dr. Vitale, Dick DeBartola, and Mr. Bicep to just name a few. Everything is being moderated by our Vice President of Direct Marketing Jared Tracy. Our CEO Alex Elnekaveh has huge input what goes into the production and manufacturing of our products. He is excited to see what people say about our products and the how they like to use them. I'm really excited to see where this buzz lands us. If I have anything else to say I will post it on one of my blogs.

-v

Gravity Defyer Shoes Are Making A Splash

2007-02-02T17:50:00.000-08:00

The Gravity Defyer Shoes by Alexander Innovation Wizard are a hot item. They were a huge hit when debuted at the 2007 CES. Yes, shoes made their debut at the largest consumer electronics show. A crazy idea, but it actually makes sense, given the amount of time people spend on their feet.

See what people said about the shoes at the CES as well as what other bloggers and reporters have to say:

Read what GUTTERBOY said (humorous)
Read what turboGADGETS said
California Newswire
The Red Ferret says they “are straight off the ‘what the…?’ banana boat LOL
Investor’s Business Daily
Nothing to do with Arbroath
Dr. Joe Vitale has many good things to say not just about the shoes
The Gravity Defyer Shoes are wishlisted by someone on TheThingsIWant.com. Perhaps I’ll send him a pair
CrunchGear had their hopes up about defying gravity
MondoShoes had something to say too
Sys-con
Yahoo! Finance published the press release
Can you Digg it?
eNewsChannels
They even love it in India
The Ventury County Star picked up on the hot news!
So did the Dallas Morning News
Even EARTHtimes.org got in on the action

I was skeptical when months ago these shoes showed up at a project meeting and the CEO was enthusiastic about them. I did not see how the shoes fit into our product lines but started to see the benefit and WOW factor. Well it has been like six months later and I actually do own a pair which I regularly wear. The excitement at the CES 2007 really surprised me and made me believe further that this is a great product. Pretty much anyone who wears them likes them I have not yet seen a hater among us yet.

-v

I'll Have One Bourbon, One Scotch, and one Beer. - Geroge Thurgood

2007-01-26T12:43:00.000-08:00

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
--Frank Sinatra

The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober.
--William Butler Yeats

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
--Ernest Hemingway

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
--Ernest Hemingway

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
-Catherine Zandonella

Non-Drinker: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
--Ambrose Bierce

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.
--Anonymous

Drinking provides a beautiful excuse to pursue the one activity that truly gives me pleasure, hooking up with fat hairy girls.
--Timothy Walsh

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
--Anonymous

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
--W.C. Fields

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
--Henny Youngman

Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.
--Michelle Mastrolacasa

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
--Tom Waits

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
--Stephen Wright

When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven...
--Brian O'Rourke

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline... it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
--Frank Zappa

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
--Winston Churchill

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
--Benjamin Franklin

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
--Deep Thought, Jack Handy

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
--Dave Barry

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
--Humphrey Bogart

Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.
--David Moulton

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
--Kaiser Wilhelm

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
--Homer Simpson

All right, Brain, I don't like you... and you don't like me, so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.
--Homer Simpson

This Is By Far Our Best Video Yet.

2007-01-19T12:30:00.000-08:00

I think this video is good. The filming is great. It even has an entertainment factor to it.

We Finally Got Videos On our Site

2007-01-16T12:19:00.000-08:00

Pardon the pun but this knife is the ultimate in “cutting edge” technology used now by professional chefs around the world. It’s not ordinary metal like other knives. Instead it’s made of shatterproof zirconium oxide so it’s guaranteed to never rust. When we say shatterproof we mean it. It’s almost as hard as a diamond! But that’s not all; this ultra sharp knife will hold its edge for years without a single sharpening. Perhaps the best part of our Ceramic Knife is the fact that it’s so hygienic. Its advanced high-density ceramic material prevents the breeding of bacteria, which professional chefs know is very important when cutting red meat and poultry. Light weight, perfectly balanced, easy to clean and dishwasher safe, our Ceramic Knife makes the perfect addition to the twenty-first century kitchen.

I just think it's so cool having these little product videos on gadgetuniverse.com. It gives it a better prospective of the product since you cannot really touch it yourself. Besides that it gives the website an entertainment factor which should keep people tuning in. I hope we can get all our products a short clip. This s a great idea in marketing so far I haven't seen companies using YouTube video to promote there products.
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White Friends or Russian Friends

2007-01-11T11:41:00.000-08:00

WHITE FRIENDS: Never ask for food
RUSSIAN FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

WHITE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.
RUSSIAN FRIENDS: Call your parents mom and dad.

WHITE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was
wrong.
RUSSIAN FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying, Damn...we fucked
up...but that shit was fun!"

WHITE FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
RUSSIAN FRIENDS: Cry with you.

WHITE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
RUSSIAN FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget it's yours.

WHITE FRIENDS: know a few things about you.
RUSSIAN FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.

WHITE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing.
RUSSIAN FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

WHITE FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.
RUSSIAN FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'm home!"

WHITE FRIENDS: Are for a while.
RUSSIAN FRIENDS: Are for life.

WHITE FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had
enough.
RUSSIAN FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say,
"Bitch, you better drink the rest of that, you know we don't waste!!"

WHITE FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
RUSSIAN FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!!

WHITE FRIENDS: Will ignore this.
RUSSIAN FRIENDS: Will forward this back to the person that sent it to them to prove who is better...so sent this to all your Russian friends and see how many u will get back.

-v

Definitions

2007-01-11T10:20:00.000-08:00

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Guts or Balls

2007-01-10T10:36:00.000-08:00

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them?

In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below...

GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask:

"Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say:

"You're next."

This should clear up any confusion on the definitions.

Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome since both ultimately result in death.

12 Valid Reasons Not To Come In To Work

2006-12-28T16:46:00.000-08:00

1. I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK?

2. When I got up this morning, I took two Ex-lax in addition to my Prozac. I can't get off the john, but I feel good about it.

3. My mother-in-law has come back as one of the Undead and we must track her to her coffin to drive a stake through her heart and give her eternal peace. One day should do it.

4. I can't come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation.

5. If it is all the same to you I won't be coming in to work.
The voices told me to clean all the guns today.

6. I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that deadline to meet....

7. I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at Tom Thumb.

8. Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey, how about them Skins, huh? So, I won't be able to, yes, could I help you? No, no, I'll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling.

9. Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.

10. I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.

11. The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this jaw restraint so I won't bite things when I am startled.

12. The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet.

Purists Do Not Rejoice

2006-12-27T12:05:00.000-08:00

Removable Tattoos Coming Next Year

How many people would get a tattoo if it didn't come with a lifetime commitment? I certainly would seriously consider getting inked if I didn't have to worry about being happy with my choice in 50 years. Scientists at a company called Freedom-2 LLC have developed an ink that can be removed with a single laser treatment, making it simple to remove when you decide you don't want that 30 Seconds to Mars tattoo anymore.

The fancy regret-free ink should be available to parlors early next year. Look for jokey, stupid tattoos to skyrocket by about 10,000,000%. –Adam Frucci

I'm not too sure whats the point of getting a tattoo if its not a lifetime commitment. If think if you decide to get one the decision should include the lifetime value. I have two tattoos one large one and a small one I will never consider removing them because they are a part of me and will discolor and age just like the rest of me. These tattoos will be for people who like to experiment
and are not to sure what they want. The only good side as I see it is that hard working tattoo artists will get more money and I'm all for that.

-v

Time Warner Cable Sucks

2006-12-19T11:37:00.000-08:00

Time Warner gets fussy with DirecTV over "false advertising"

Posted Dec 16th 2006 9:26AM by Darren Murph
Filed under: HDTV, Home Entertainment

There's nothing like a warm, heartfelt lawsuit to really spread that holiday cheer, and we've got yet another battle in the courtroom about to get cranked up, and this time it's between rivals DirecTV and Time Warner. While TWC still can't claim the ability to offer the fledgling NFL Network on its cable systems, DirecTV felt the need to boast not only about its "superior coverage," but to also rub a little salt in Time Warner's wound by informing folks in NFL towns that games shown on the NFL Network "couldn't be seen" on Time Warner. Although the claims seem somewhat legitimate, Time Warner insists that "all eight games featured on the NFL Network will also be available to local fans over broadcast networks," which apparently wasn't the message being conveyed to pigskin-loving consumers. Regardless, DirecTV dug its hole a tad deeper by hiring Jessica Simpson to state that the firm's HD quality "beats cable," which is quite the laughable statement to anyone familiar with "HD Lite." In the end, however, we're sure the ads will be removed (or at least reworded), and the two firms will continue to bicker in future bouts, but what fun would it be if these two actually decided to get along, right?

OK Here I go, lately I've been lately hating Time Warner Cable. It all started when I moved to my new pace in Sherman Oaks. I had the Time Warner cable, phone, and Internet at my previous place. When I moved to my new place they told me I will need to get Adelphia for a little while and then they will change to Time Warner. When I had Adelphia everything was cool and worked good.

The real trouble started when I bought my dlp projection HDTV they told me to come . I waited for like 1 1/2 weeks for an appointment so they came and installed everything and the HDTV DVR box worked a whopping six hours then just died. I went to the Adelphia service center to get the box replaced and did so supposedly they did not have any HDMI cables which I requested but that was OKtomorrow. I came in on Saturday my day off and there was a huge line so i just decided to wait. I was there more than 30 mins so I get to the teller and she is like we do not supply HDMI cables. So I just got pissed off and left. I wasn't really too pissed off because later I talked to some people and some got one and some did not.

Recently my new box is having problems the sound keeps cutting off and its needs to be restarted which really sucks if you are recording a show. I went to the same service center know which is now named Time Warner finally. The teller told me that they don't have those boxes I have they have an older version called "moxi" don't quote me on the spelling. Which I know everybody who had one had to get it replaced for the new one that I have. Also those boxes require "professional installation" which requires an appointment. I told her I just want to exchange the box and that my schedule does not permit me being at home waiting for a repair man to show up. Her response was we done have any and we don't know when we will be some in January , February,etc. she would not give me an answer. She said that I could watch regular cable in the mean time.

The really pissed me off because I don't want to watch regular cable on a $2k HDTV also not to mention the extra fees associated with the HDTV channels. I bought the TV to watch HDTV period. I don't know which direction Time Warner is going with its customer service but definitely its not the right one. I'm actually contemplating switching to satellite.

Man Laws

2006-12-13T11:00:00.000-08:00

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following Circumstances:

(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss’s car.
(d) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5: If you’ve known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy’s fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy’s birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy’s choice.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who’s playing.

10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she’s officially your girlfriend.

11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you’re sunning on a tropical beach … and it’s delivered by a topless model and only when it’s free.

12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

13: Unless you’re in prison, never fight naked.

14: Friends don’t let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

15: If a man’s fly is down, that’s his problem, you didn’t see anything.

16: Women who claim they “love to watch sports” must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that’s just greedy.

19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you’d better be talking about his choice of beer.

20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she’s withholding sex pending your response.

21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man While lifting weights:

a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b) C’mon, give me one more! Harder!
c) Another set and we can hit the showers!

22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting In line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.

24:The morning after you and a girl who was formerly “just a friend” have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you’re feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.

25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

27: The girl who replies to the question “What do you want for Christmas?” with “If you loved me, you’d know what I want!” gets an Xbox. End of story.

28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men’s Gymnastics. Ever.

29: We’ve all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:

“GUTS” is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, “are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?”

“BALLS” is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, “You’re next!

This is our Bible guys please read and cherish these laws as they where the ten commandments. If you break one of these laws. The only way to redeem yourself is a round at the bar or a lap dance at your favorite watering hole.

-v

WOW Whats Next

2006-12-12T10:30:00.000-08:00

Humping Dog USB Drive Robs Us All of Precious Dignity

There's really not much to say about this product that the video doesn't eloquently say for me, so why don't you go ahead and watch it and then come back. It's OK, I'll wait.

There, you see? There's no word on how to actually buy one of these, but let's go ahead and consider that a blessing in disguise for any of you who would actually use this thing in public. –Adam Frucci

Humping Dog USB Drive [Digital World Tokyo]

You will have to see the video. This an instant world. I hope we start to carry them at work.
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I Hope they Can Keep It Up

2006-12-07T15:24:00.000-08:00

DVD Wars: Amazon Puts HD-DVD Ahead

Home theater buffs still undecided about which next-gen DVD they should buy should visit thedvdwars.com, where they use Amazon as a data source to determine which format is "winning" the dvd wars right now.

However, data by itself only gives part of the picture. But it's an important part. As of today, HD DVD is winning

I'm happy because I'm a big fan of the 360 and I purchased the HD-DVD add on unit for it. I HD-DVD takes off and the disks will be cheaper and more easter eggs.

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Ever Heard of Wang Spray? Neither Did I

2006-12-07T15:16:00.000-08:00

German Wang Spray is Instant Condom: From Liquid Rubber To Sweet Love in One Second

A German firm has developed a spray-on condom for all your lifestyle needs. The liquid condom comes in an aerosol can that you spray onto the organ in question. A few seconds later, the liquid solidifies into the familiar latex and forms a tight seal. The company says it's a great time saver and is easier to use than traditional condoms. It's still in the testing phase (in fact, they're looking for volunteers right now) so it might be a while before it hits the neighborhood drug store. Now there's no "but I hate putting it on" excuses. And anything that promotes safety and responsibility is A-OK in our books (usually). – Nicholas Deleon

WOW! That is hilarious wang spray huh. I could see the benefit of a product like this especially if you can get them at Costco in the 3 gallon aerosol spray cans. I just have some feedback for the manufacturer.

1. It will need a warmer so the liquid or spray whatever will be warm. As all guys know you don't want to spray anything cold on your wang.

2. I understand how to apply it but i dont think the problem is their.The removal is the tricky part.

But anyways those crazy Germans keep coming out with new stuff and I will keep LMAO.

So Here I am

2006-10-31T11:58:00.000-08:00

New Blogger setup. I heard it cooler than Wordpress but will use both at least for now. Any thoughts or ideas you want me to write about just let me know. Its hard for me to get the initial creativity going but once i get it going I do alright.

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