Wednesday, August 29, 2007

You Mean I Can Take My Porn With Me?

Rex Lee

Rex Lee from Entourage was very excited to receive his MP4 Home Theater watch and he liked the MP3 Voice recorder too but not as much. Rex Lee is also a big fan of AIW's other products like the Steinhausen Beethoven Watch . He wasn't wearing one that day but he mentioned to me how many compliments that watch receives. Rex Lee is a talented and hilarious actor and I love his work. It was a pleasure meeting him.

-Vadim K.

Friday, June 08, 2007

Paris Got Fucked and I don't Mean on Video

Paris Hilton got dragged out of her house today and taken into custody and returned to jail. WTF did she break out of prison or something. I think the stupid judge is just making a mockery of this problem and making a name for himself. My friend has gotten multiple DUI's and only did time for his third one. This girl did not even get a second one and they are throwing the book at her. I know she is not perfect but who is. She likes to party and what not but who really cares is she hurting people selling drugs or worse. I think this is just a media frenzy and the judge wants his name all over the media and has the power to do so. I feel bad for her and hopefully she could come out this with her head up high and put this all behind her.

-Vadim

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

The Cast Of LOST

Last weekend I spent a whole lot of time in the presidential suite at the The Sofitel Hotel. It was sponsored by Alexander Innovation Wizard (scroll down for some history). The event was hosted by GBK productions and was for the 2007 MTV Movie Awards. We worked long hours and did not get many breaks but it was all worth it. The highlight of this gift suite was when I meet some of the cast of lost. I meet Jorge Garcia (my fav), Malcolm David Kelley, and Harold Perrineau Jr. (was also on OZ). I got so excited when Jorge came into the suite and started looking and the G-Force MP4 Home Theater Watch and the Spion MP3 Voice recorder. I could barely tell him what the product do i just had random scenes from the show on my mind. the coolest part is that they all loved the products especially the watch. Everyone was like I don't have drag my laptop around to catch a movie and I was like nope you can have it on your wrist. That was so cool me schooling celebrities image that. I'm still pretty excited about meeting then and looking forward to the new season of Lost in February.

Here are some picks from there:

Background on Alexander Innovation Wizard:

Alexander Innovation Wizard has been inventing the world’s greatest innovations for nearly 20 years. His products can be found in retail stores like Sharper Image, Costco and mail-order catalogs like Heartland America, Gadget Universe, Sportsman’s Guide, and SkyMall. Alex is also rolling out dozens of funny and entertaining online videos featuring the incredible innovations he is discovering and inventing several months before these gadgets are available to consumers.

-Vadim

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Damn Better Then Hot Cakes, Like Gravity Defeyer Hotcakes

It's funny how much press these Gravity Defyer Shoes get. Everywhere I look there are more and more blogs, reviews, etc. I just searched Google for the shoes (results) and the information is overwhelming. Like Show-n-Tell, The Gadget Panel, TurboGadgets, and countless others have written reviews and given there opinions. Places like Gadget Universe, Skymall are spending lots of dough just to advertise these. So far they don't have a celebrity endorsements or any large retail chains supporting the shoes. In my opinion thats just around the corner.

-Vadim

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

WOW!!! Gotta Get Me Some of These



Boobies: The Executive Desk Toy

Remember the pendulum executive desk toys that were so popular in the '80s? Then you'll be familiar with Mrs. Newton's Knockers. A few questions though.

Does Mrs. Newton herself have five breasts? More than five breasts? Are these someone else's breasts? Did she take one each from five women, or are there two women walking around breastless and one with just half a breast? All pertinent questions. – Jason Chen

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Twenty Responses To Use With Telemarketers

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . . "

3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

4. This works great if you are male. Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company." You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"

5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.

6. Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends, would you be my friend?"

8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"

9. After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask him or her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you can't just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

10. Tell the Telemarketer that you work for the same company, and they can't sell to employees.

11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, "Oh my God!" and then hang up.

12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" Hang up.

13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

14. Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.

15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer.

16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.

17. Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I'll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."

18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"

19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up . . . louder . . . louder . . .

20. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Got Tiddy's ?

Hahaha!!!!


This thing is hilarious. I truly hope this is a real product. I can see many women take advantage of this simple product.

-Vadim

Thursday, March 22, 2007

We Got Gravity Defyer Style

Finally some other styles of the Gravity Defyer shoes have come in. You now have versions with laces and two other colors mocha and saddle. I'll still stick with the triple black. But I do like the look of the Allessandro. These shoes are just on fire. I had mine on the other day because I knew I was going to do some walking. After walking the farmers market for a while I was really impressed that my calves did not hurt which they usually did. I don't know about anyone else I'm sold on these and will recommend that everyone get a pair or two. Use code : SHOEPROMO to get 10% off and free shipping on the order from catalog page. But keep this between us no one knows I leaked that code. The offer is not even published anywhere yet. :-)

-Vadim

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

9/11 Facts Everyone Should Know

1) New York City has 11 letters

2) Afghanistan has 11 letters.

3) Ramsin Yuseb (The terrorist who threatened to destroy the Twin Towers in 1993) has 11 letters.

4) bill clinton has 11 letters.

This could be a mere coincidence, but this gets more interesting:

1) New York is the 11th state.

2) The first plane crashing against the Twin Towers was flight number 11.

3) Flight 11 was carrying 92 passengers. 9+ 2 =11

4) Flight 77 which also hit Twin Towers, was carrying 65 passengers. 6+5 = 11

5) The tragedy was on September 11, or 9/11 as it is now known. 9 + 1+ 1 = 11

6) The date is equal to the US emergency services telephone number 911. 9 + 1 + 1 = 11.

Sheer coincidence..?! Read on and make up your own mind:

1) The total number of victims inside all the hi-jacked planes was 254. 2 + 5 + 4 = 11.

2) September 11 is day number 254 of the calendar year. Again 2 + 5 + 4 = 11.

3) The Madrid bombing took place on 3/11/2004. 3+1 + 1 + 2 + 4 = 11.

4) The tragedy of Madrid happened 911 days after the Twin Towers incident.

Sheer coincidence..?! Read on and make up your own mind:

Now this is where things get totally eerie:

The most recognised symbol for the US, after the Stars & Stripes, is the Eagle. The following verse is taken from the Quran, the Islamic holy book:

"For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle. The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah and lo, while some of the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced: for the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah and there was peace."

That verse is number 9.11 of the Quran.

Still uncovinced about all of this..?! Try this and see how you feel afterwards, it made my hair stand on end

Open Microsoft Word (or notepad) and do the following:

1. Type in capitals Q33 NY. This is the flight number of the first
plane to hit one of the Twin Towers.

2. Highlight the Q33 NY.

3. Change the font size to 48.

4. Change the actual font to the
WINGDINGS 1

-Vadim

Monday, March 19, 2007

See Exactly What I Just Said

The 22mph Russian boots that could, but never did


The Gray Lady's got a rather interesting piece on the peculiar (and telling) tale of a Russian inventor and his declassified gas-powered engine-boots that get 70mpg and can swiftly take a runner upwards of 20 miles per hour without the regular strain, stress, or tiredness that comes with long-distance running. Unfortunately for Viktor Gordeyev, the boots' creator, instead of being allowed to sell his boots on the open market, the Russian government classified them for military use until 1994. When they were declassified in 1994, Gordeyev tried his damnedest to get them into consumers' hands (or rather, on their feet), but despite his better efforts he just couldn't find buy-in and his business -- like so many other Russian technology companies -- went under. Yes, it's truly apparent that in Russia, boots run you. What a country, eh?


I don't know if this product would be a huge success but judging what people sell these days. He could of at least go into retail. I hope this would change soon. their is a lot of potential from there. Just all the people are repressed and are shut in by the government.
-Vadim

Kazakhstan Rules With A Iron Fist

My friend's uncle introduced him to a young lady that resides Kazakhstan. His uncle also lives there near Borat somewhere lol. So for months now they have been exchanging email and phones calls (thank god for voice over ip). They like each other and decided to meet. She went to the consulate and asked for a travel visa so she could come out here to visit him. They advised her that she can't do that. Here are her options she could come out here on a student visa, work visa, or a personal long lost friend program for lack of better words. She asked why she just could see a person she likes and wants to meet. They advised her that their number one priority is make sure she comes back to Kazakhstan. So my mom learned of this and decided to help. She got the paper work and filled everything out like she is her friend and blah blah blah. So this lady goes back there with all the paper work and they have an interview (interrogation). Everything goes well until he asks her if my mom has ever been to Kazakhstan and she replies no. Then after like three hours of being interviewed right after that question he dined her entry to the United States. Communist has long left that part of the world but everything is still done in the old ways. It will take at least 100 years for things to be more open and freer. For know she is stuck there and their is really no way she could come over now. But the kicker is that she has a young boy and her family there so she would obviously come back. For know it just sucks.

-Vadim

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Lazy Man's Exercise

iPlatform F.L.S. Exercise Trainer Machine


I love the iPlatform. If you are a fat bastard like me and refuse to exercise against doctors orders. We had one in the studio for a couple of months. I used to sneak off and use the machine on a daily basis for that time period. I noticed that I did not get sleepy after lunch like I always did before and had more energy for the evening activities. I wish we would still have it set up because I miss my energy. This exercise machine is so simple to use and a ton of fun. I think of it like a roller coaster get on and just hold on and let the machine do all the work. I also love all the attention this machine gets from the opposite sex. Every time we take it to a show it catches the women’s attention right away. I think women are just more health oriented than men are. I love how it’s just something fun to do like go on a swing or seesaw. I don' really care I'm working out I care more that I'm having fun with the gadget. I think this is the key to sticking with any exercise routine. If you are not having fun and it’s a chore to do your not likely going to do that for a long time.


A reply to: Kevin Sorbo Loves the iPlatform, What did Paris Hilton get for her birthday?


-Vadim

Monday, February 19, 2007

I Can Smell BS From A Mile Away

Universal B.S. Detector Watch: Full of Crap

BSWatchCows.jpg

The Universal Bullshit Detector Watch does not actually detect falsehoods. We didn't want to inconvenience the small percentage of readership that sometimes takes these trifles a tad too seriously. As a general rule, any electronic depicting a cow's arse is not worth one's emotional investment. But to each his own.

The $39.95 Universal Bullshit Detector Watch can tell time, but it can also make "moo" and "poo" noises at the touch of a button. According to the manufacturer, your friend will question from whence came the sound (and this is when you come in):

"Oh, my deepest apologies Philip. I seem to have left my bull...pfff...haha...one second...hahaha...I'm ok...I seem to have left...ooh, spit my milk a bit...I...I seem to have left my bullshit detector on!"

And then Philip will feel most foolish.


Ok I'm done with the rant now. But anyways I would to know anytime people are just B's you like art the dealers or when you buying a tv. I'm just looking for a tuned down version from my rant I would just like a beep so I can smack the person B's you.

-v

Monday, February 12, 2007

Vista Breaking Heads !





Check this out freshly borrowed from the 800lbs. Gorilla guys. This is funny so I decided to put it on my blog.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

I'm Actually A Part Of Something

At work we are setting up a Gadget Panel. It's basically going to be a review site for new products. But the twist is that we don't really want them to tell us what the product does just what is there opinion of it and maybe what they could accomplish with it. We already have some cool people as our panelist. Dr. Vitale, Dick DeBartola, and Mr. Bicep to just name a few. Everything is being moderated by our Vice President of Direct Marketing Jared Tracy. Our CEO Alex Elnekaveh has huge input what goes into the production and manufacturing of our products. He is excited to see what people say about our products and the how they like to use them. I'm really excited to see where this buzz lands us. If I have anything else to say I will post it on one of my blogs.

-v
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